Showing posts with label How I. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How I. Show all posts

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Interracial Relationship: What It's Like In Public (Personal Experience)

March 27, 2018 0 Comments
As my followers and people who know me might already know I am in an interracial relationship. If you are a new reader this is news for you and hey, welcome to my blog! 👋🏾

I try not to be too personal about my relationship in my blog posts hence why I try to be more general about my topics. In respect of my relationship itself and my boyfriend's views on the internet/social media, I try to not keep our life as a couple too much on the surface. However, today I feel like it should be okay to give you an insight of what it is like out in the public for us as an interracial couple. (Hopefully, this is not a prob for him 😄😉) 

Added fact: not only are we in an interracial relationship, our relationship is also long distance; for a little while that is. 

So for my new readers, I am Jamaican and my name is Kemalto. My boyfriend is Swedish/Norwegian and his name is Alex, for short.


Now let's get in to the topic. I start with my home country, Jamaica, as that's where I first noticed the type of attention we receive.

1. People tend to be VERY inquisitive. This is expected because it's not every day people may see an interracial couple around town.

2. In a social environment, people are always curious about where Alex is from. When he tells them Sweden, 70% of them can never pinpoint where Sweden actually is and feels he is referring to Switzerland 😂

3. When passing Craft Markets, staying at a hotel people or being anywhere where tourists normally are, persons most often assume we are Americans because apparently “once you’re a foreigner you’re American" 🤦🏾‍♀️ I believe people are quick to think that because of the way we speak our English.

4. I swear one day a driver is going to collide into something because of turning his/her head to look at us, while driving! It’s the creepiest thing to experience when people looks at you so still and turn their heads with your motion of walking by. Gah! 

5. BEAUTIFUL BABIES! A comment we definitely get a lot. Mind you be beautiful babies doesn't not only come in an interracial relationship 😒 But thank you for your view! 👶🏼

6. When Is The Wedding? Guys we are not running a show. Our relationship is real and we think developing a stable relationship takes time. When it's time WE will know.

7. Because I worked at a hotel and sometimes I would wear my work uniform in the town while walking with him, people would assume I met him at the hotel; I did not. People are also quick to assume we met online. No, we did not ♥️

8. Some local men show so much fury when they see that " a white man" stole one of their Jamaican girls. Oh lord I could just preach and rant on this! But I always say, when you start to appreciate the Jamaican women and treat them right then you'll find that you still have a lot left on the island for yourself (and this only goes for some men) 

9. Some girls/ women don't care if they see him walking with me. They eye him out as if I were invisible. But I guess that's okay.. to a point. I know my man's attractive 🤷🏾‍♀️🤤


My experience in Sweden:

Sweden is a lovely country as much as Jamaica is. People there are reserved and some mind their own business. The experiences that I have in Jamaica aren't as prominent and obvious in Sweden. My main experience in Sweden being in an interracial relationship is that people just tend to stare and have very inquisitive eyes. Sometimes it can get so uncomfortable (especially on the train) for me because I don't know what the stares mean. I can question myself like, is it me or is it because they see me with a Swede? Friends of Alex seems to find it rather "exotic" so I assume that's a good thing. 😌🤔
Sweden is a diverse country, people from all ethnicities and countries so I guess it's more expected for them to see interracial couples from time to time. 

All and all I love and enjoy my relationship. My best one yet.
I wouldn't change my relationship for anything or for anyone. I live and embrace it as it is. ♥️

If you are in an interracial relationship, can you relate in any way? Leave a comment and let me know. Share if you have found my post as relatable. 

Want to know how we handle our Long Distance Relationship? Check out these 7 ways! 

🦋 See you on my next post! 🦋
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Tuesday, 20 February 2018

8 WAYS YOU KNOW HE IS THE ONE

February 20, 2018 0 Comments


How can you know if your partner is the one? Is it the way he talks to you on a daily basis? Is it the respect that he shows you? Or maybe the way he holds your hand when you walk?
Whatever it is, only you can know when it all feels right.
The fact is that not everyone feels connected to their partner in the same way after the same amounts of time. For some it takes months, years or possibly a day! This absence of a strict formula sheet for love makes even Cupid question his own existence.

Just don’t think you’re alone, there are numerous girls out there who still havent found the answer for whether or not their boyfriend is right for them.
Here are some pointers to reassure you when all those pesky doubts arise!


That Natural Spark- Keep your eyes peeled for this as it’s probably the most important thing when contemplating your feelings toward another person. He  reminds you of all your favourite things and a  light sparks up your soul and warms your heart at the mention of his name.


Attention! - There is nearly nothing better than getting his attention without having to beg for it. If your boyfriend gives you the minimal amount of attention and it feels like you have to be prying it from his hands, something could be wrong. You might want to pay closer attention to this but avoid being sneaky, invasive or disrespectful because this can easily backfire.


He Speaks The Truth- Honesty is invaluable in a relationship. Some men are a bit rougher around the edges than others which may sometimes make them appear to be too  blunt. However, it is always good to take the truth for what it is as opposed to focusing on the mode of delivery rather than the message itself. One good way to go about this if your beau is more on the frank side is to avoid asking some questions until you are prepared to receive the answer. Just remember he is honest because he cares about you.


Family/Friends – At some point in a serious relationship you will have to meet his family and friends. Does he keep rescheduling everytime you both made plans to meet his family? Or probably always finds excuses when you want to hang with him and his friends. Then you might want to pull out your magnifying glass. This is indication of whether or not he views your relationship as tempory, or if he is just not ready (probably if the relationship is fairly new). I believe guys like to wait a while more than girls before taking steps, one of those steps being mostly to meet the family. If you know the relationship is bit new just be patient. On the other hand, have you tried to let him meet your friends or family?


Respect – You don’t want to waste your time if you rarely see this from him. Bear in mind that respect should always be reciprocated, so ensure that you are being respectful as well. The way he speaks to you publicly or privately should be on the same acceptable level. We know people can sometimes put on a show in public to “one up” so to speak and make the world have the impression that they are a good person while behind closed doors it’s the total opposite. If your guy shows you the same level of respect both  indoors and outdoors then that’s a clear win!


He Checks In – If you have a boyfriend and your messages or call log is as dry as the Sahara Desert, then something could be wrong. Maybe he’s one of those persons who claim to be ”busy” 90% of the time. But there’s a word called ”priority” and if he doesn’t prioritize you then you could be wasting your time. Though if he constantly checks up on you to see how your day went, how you are doing, if you’ve ate, then you probably should hold on to his hand a little tighter.


Future – Not many things can be more comforting than when you listen to him making his future plans and you are a part of them. You begin to feel secure and not like your time is being wasted on something that’s only transient. If a man sees you in his future then you have stepped foot in the right place. As long as he is an honest man and has always been plain and open to you about things then you don’t need to overthink the relationship.


Helping Out – He can help out in various ways; mentally, physically or emotionally. From time to time us  girls definitely need this type of support system from our partner no matter how ”independent” one can claim to be. It’s only natural to require a little help form your boyfriend from time to time. It doesn’t  have to be financially but a little emotional and physical support might be all you need and will definitely go a long way. If your boyfriend is a supportive person and is always ready to listen then you have got yourself a gold star.


Today I am ending  on this note; it is good to know that it takes two to make a couple. So expecting all these things would be void if you don’t give or show them in return. He could possibly be wondering if you are also  the one and be discreetly observing you with all these pointers. Don’t be selfish and also try to be THE ONE.
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Thursday, 15 February 2018

Long Distance Relationship And 7 Ways How I Handle It

February 15, 2018 6 Comments
As for who knows me personally, you are probably aware of the fact that I am in a long distance relationship. So instead of speaking on general terms on this topic, I will speak on a personal term instead.

Before Alex and I relationship sky rocketed to great things, I never forget the day when we met and we exchanged our contacts. I said to him "Don't become a stranger" and he promised he would stay in touch.

I felt straight away like "pssh yeah right, as soon as you get on that plane you won't even remember I exist" while there was still a part of me that hoped he was telling in the truth.

In a nutshell, he kept his promised.

Believe it or not, from the day Alex went home and messaged me we spoke literally every day! If any day had passed it wouldn't have been more than one day for five times. I start on this note because I will be listing seven main ways (though there are more) on how we maintain such strong relationship while being 8,585 km apart with communication being number one.


1. COMMUNICATION

You probably have gotten the idea from my introduction. For Alex and I, communication is very very important. We breathe communication and we live communication (hope you got the hang of that). But this is not only valuable when we are apart. Communication play a daily role in our lives even when we are under the same roof. When we have a fuss and I don't feel like speaking, Alex never cease to remind me of when I first told him what I value most in a relationship, communication being one of them. This resolve issues, make our plans go smoother and help us to understand and know each other better.

2. HONESTY


Even in the time of being just pals, Alex and I have always been honest with each other about our feelings. There was a part in time when we didn't see a relationship happening in the near future but Alex would always tell me how much he values me as a friend. Of course it was the same for me. I cared about him and I always felt okay to be open and honest with him. Honesty came more into play when we became an actual couple. A relationship needs honesty in order to survive not to mention when you are miles apart.

3. TRUST


As like the first two mentioned above with all being of importance, a relationship needs trust. Imagine a relationship as a plant and trust as water. Without water the plant will not grow, neither will a relationship without trust itself. Because of our honesty from the start as friends, there was no need for us not to trust each other. When we became a couple, we gave each other even more reasons to build trust. For example, meeting all the persons we've ever spoke about that is in our circle, not going to the bathroom or outside and speaking quietly when receiving a call etc. People build trust in different ways but for Alex and I, the trust was already being built when we have been open to each other from the start.

4. SCHEDULING

This falls very important for us. We always plan the times or the next time when we will  see each other. My heart always feel like it's falling in a pit when we have to say goodbye at the airport. Neither of us like to being apart from each other for too long. We always plan and schedule the date(s) that we'll be seeing each other so we both don't have to be home longing too see each other in hopes. If you are in a long distance relationship like me I recommend doing this with your partner also.

5. BEING EACH OTHERS KEEPER


I always make sure I am readily available to him whether the situation is good or bad, especially while on a distance. This is the reassurance medicine for us. It helps us to never lose hope that we will always be there for each other even when it is over the phone. It builds solidity between us.

6. PHONE CALLS/VIDEO CALLS

A long distance relationship can't rely on sole text messaging. Let me tell you, even in the time of being just friends, Alex and I would talk on the phone for HOURS! Yes, hours. My mom would always say "where do you two find things to talk about that much." And now that we are dating it's basically like a whole day instead. I know I am not the only one who is on a long distance relationship that can relate to this. (If you can relate leave a comment of how many hours you talk to your partner on the phone, you can keep your identity unknown)

7. BEST FRIENDS

Not only are we lovers or partners in crime (Bonnie & Clyde) but Alex is also my best friend! He means so much to me and I can talk to him just as if I would talk to my girlfriends. And it is the same from his side. I can tell him about my bad hair days or how annoying my periods can be and he can talk to me about his bicycle or other male things. There are days when it's almost like we've forgotten that we are dating because of the best friend bond that we share. And I believe some of the best relationships start off as being best friends with my very own being an example.


A Conclusion For You

I hope you can relate to how I handle my long distance relationship and if your long distance relationship is going well, I wish that it will continue to be like that until destiny have you both together. If you're in long distance relationship and it has its complications, don't give up just yet. Every relationship has it own complications and it can be even more when you are miles apart. Always remember issues will not be solved without communicating with each other. 


See you on my next post! 💗
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