First Impressions Lasts Forever

"We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves."

“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is irrelevant.”

If you ask someone at random to list the things they’d love to do around their partner you’d probably hear a few “uhmmm”s and “wellll..”s before they could even begin to answer. Ask those same people about some things they feel they’d never want to do and you’ll find a million answers flying out of nowhere. It’s weird how we can think about all the awkward things we wouldn’t do in a relationship. But the more you think about these ”awkward” things the more you realize that at some point or another they are bound to happen. Thankfully for me, most of these things were a breeze! I hardly ever felt any stiffness when I wanted to just be myself around my partner.

But “awkward things”, what am I even talking about?

• Passing Gas

I think this might head the list of things people might be apprehensive about in a relationship, especially if it is new. But let me tell you, once you have settled in your partner’s company you probably won’t even notice the first time you farted. Passing gas, is only natural. Don’t see it as an embarrassment, you’re body is just doing it’s job. In fact, your partner might become concerned about your health if you were never able to relieve yourself in this way.

• Taking A Pee… Outside!

I don’t think it will be that hard taking a pee in the bathroom infront of your boyfriend and I’ll tell you why I said boyfriend instead of “partner”. As it regards to peeing outside of a bathroom, it has always been natural for a guy to just stand and pee anywhere outside. Imagine you’re on a night out with your boyfriend and while strolling with him outside there comes a strong urge too pee and the options are:
       a) stoop next to a shrub and empty your bladder or
       b) wait until it becomes unbearable and wet yourself.
I don’t think too many of you would choose option b. Peeing outside can be really embarrassing for some girls. It’s not always easy to do especially if you’re just getting to know him. There are ways of handling this if you aren’t yet comfortable. He doesn’t necessarily have to be standing over you while you pee. He can be a couple metres away while you handle your female business. When you do reach that point of comfort in your relationship you could possibly be taking pees outside… together!

• Number 2

Ayiyyiy! Why is it that most times it’s us  women who can have insecurites about doing the natural stuff when our boyfriend/husband is around? Men, on the other hand, can easily do the number 2  even on the first date but for us women, our partner could possibly never even know of us having the urge to poop, even more so seeing us go! Women generally like to give off a classy aura especially when it comes on to being around their partner. I  didn’t even expect myself to do a number 2 even infront of Alex but when two people are in the same household these things are only natural and expected. We try to make it funny sometimes, especially when one person is going at it for two long. We either ask if the other person needs help or jokingly bring a pair of scissors just in case they ran into any difficulty.

• Snoring

If you’re a snorer it’s okay! I didn’t even know I was able to snore until Alex recorded me one day when we were in Jamaica. It was kind of an embarrassing but funny experience. But remember we have no control over these things while we are asleep. If you are afraid of snoring and feel like it may  be a problem for a long term relationship you can always do your research on how to fix it or possibly seek medical advice. As for those who may only be occasional snorers, my advice is to embrace it and laugh about it.

• Burping

This is also a very touchy subject. You  may want to be a little respectful towards your partner and exercise some restraint depending on the setting. For example, at a restaurant; you wouldn’t want to be burping too loudly in his company as this is not proper etiquette.  If it’s an easy going day at home there is no need to feel afraid to pass a little trapped air from the stomach. Just always remember to at least say excuse me or show a little grace no matter the setting.

• Morning Breath

To finish off strong, one awkward thing is – drumroll please – morning breath! Your own morning breath can even attempt to take you out like a sniper. So imagine waking up next to your partner and being paralyzed by the fear of killing him or her as soon as they wake. Good oral hygiene is sufficient. As long as you take care of your mouth, morning breath won’t be too aggressive. Morning breath will still exist even when you have excellent oral hygiene but the degree of the smell will be less. There is no sure way of getting rid of morning breath completely so why not try to embrace this as well? In the long run neither you nor your partner will pay attention to this and you’ll even be having stinky face to face conversations in the mornings!

For a happy relationship to happen we need to include all the cool, uncool, gross and natural things that exist. This includes (but is not limited to) all these things I’ve mentioned. Keep an open mind and remember no human being is perfect!