Sunday, 26 August 2018

8 Ways You Might Be pushing Him Away

August 26, 2018 3 Comments

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 Pushing away our men is more common than we girls know. Sometimes we feel as if we are doing the right thing or taking a little charge of the relationship. Let me tell you though, it doesnt always work. Men are are quite easy to lose interest when they feel a girl is taking the wrong paths to making a relationship work. When it becomes too much for them it really becomes enough.
 I wouldn’t want you to be that girl who’s pushing her man away so with these 8 pointers I hope it will help to raise a warning sign for you…. Just incase!




Lurking Too Much

 It can become too much when you’re constantly checking his social media too see his latest posts, who commented on his pictures, whose pictures he like etc. It is good to see once in a while  what your man’s social media behaviour look like but it’s not healthy to let it become a daily and nightly routine for you as much as it won't do justice for the relationship.



Over Questioning His Actions

 Girl, he’s not necessarily lying all the time. As much as people can lie, sometimes they can also tell the truth. It’s one thing when you’re dating a man for a while who lies constanly and not much has changed over the period; but if that’s not the case for you,  you should take it a bit easy on him.



Too Clingy

 Men likes a little time and space to breathe. Allow him to have times where he’s able to have some new atmosphere with friends/family or even with himself. You can even become clingy with your texting behaviour towards him. If you sent him a text at 6:00 pm, it doesnt mean he will see/read it at 6:00 pm. Be patient. If you’re dating a genuine man you have nothing to worry about, I bet he will explain in the soonest and best time  he can.







Not Doing Your Part In the Relationship

 As I often say to my boyfriend, ”Do your part and I will also do mine”. It’s  like a good relationship motto when you think about it. If you want your man to be fair towards you then no doubt he will expect fairness back from you. Not doing your half of trying to maintain a good relationship is one of the easiest ways to push him away. Keep your eyes open for that.


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Being the First to Read 90% of His Messages

 I could preach on this point but I’ll take it easy. A lot of us girls dont realise that our man’s phone is our man’s phone. Hence, it means that some privacy towards it is due. As i said…SOME. But overdoing it is an easy way for a man to lose his patience. Don’t be the one jumping hurdles with your man to make it to the finish line to read a single text that came on HIS phone. If you really would like to know who or what the message is about, there are many polite ways in which you can ask him.



Expecting Him to Read Your Mind

 I am guilty of this point but I must agree that girls will be girls. I remember when my relationship started out I was falling into this reading my mind thing with my boyfriend. Luckily, he made me become aware of it before it got too far. Ladies, men aren’t mind readers so don’t expect them to read your mind if you feel some way about a particular situation. Read you own mind towards him instead and your relationship will get somewhere instead of you pushing him away. By doing this you’re  allowing him to understand you and your situation better.



Not Able to Communicate Well

 A man can and does value the abiltiy to communicate with him. Communication and mind reading relates similary in the way in which you could possibly push him away.





Not Showing Interest In What He Values

 Imagine you telling your man about your hobbies or the things that excites you and he prefers to talk about or do something. Yes, it’s the same for him if he would try to show you his interest and you turn a deaf ear or a blind eye. Try to have some understanding to what matters the most to him. A relationship needs this as much as you need to understand the real sides to the man you’re in a relationship with.



 If any of these pointers raised a warning sign for you then you have some work to do. Instead of pushing him away why not try to push him even closer towards you?



Tuesday, 19 June 2018

The Truth About Communication In a Long Distance Relationships

June 19, 2018 3 Comments


Truth about communication

One of the very first post I’ve written was about Long Distance Relationship and 7 Ways How I Handle It. In that post I mentioned ”communication” as the first pointer as to how I keep my relationship alive while being on a distance from my boyfriend and how much we both value it. A friend of mine messaged me roughly a week ago with a link to a video where a guy speaks about challenges that can come during a long distance relationship and ways that one could overcome these challenges. It was really warm she thought of me when she saw the video but coincidentally, my post about Long Distance Relationship and 7 Ways HowI Handle It basically have already listed all that was mentioned in the guy’s video. I think once you’re in a long distance relationship that actually funtions you’d already have the basic knowledge of what makes it work and what could make others’ work.


But back to communication! 
The video did give me some new insights though as I now feel it necessary to expound a bit on the truth about communication itself in a long distance relationship, more specifically, my relationship (LDR). 


Let me start by saying that communication can be a challenge but doesnt need to be once you are doing it right. 


Communication on a distance is never the easiest but there are definitely pros to it e.g., you learn about your partner in a different way than you would if you both were in the same room, it can be funny when you find it relatively easier to say things over the phone that you would never say in person etc. 



Communication can be challenging!- Speaking now from my own experiences, I have encountered communication challenges with my boyfriend from time to time and it’s mostly due to misunderstanding when TEXTING! I have also realised that  the optimum way to communicate is by phone calls or video calls. A person reads text messages in his/her own way so sometimes the natural voice in which you sent the text could be misunderstood which may lead to miscommunication or dispute. If you are to enter a fuss about a text message which was interpreted incorrectly just stay calm and try to work it out over a voicecall instead and explain the true nature of what was meant in the text.



Finding the time to communicate?- As for me I always have the time to communicate with my boyfriend. Even when I was at my previous job where no phone was allowed I couldn’t help but to sneak my phone in just so we could talk (sshhh… don't tell anyone). I had no choice! Especially when we could be 6/7 hours on time difference and he could also be asleep or busy studying/working during my ONE hour break for lunch.. hell naw! It all comes down to priority and he is sure as hell my priority! Luckily, he is the type of guy that I don’t need to question what and who he prioritizes because it’s all so obvious in the way he handles his time i.e, I am always a part of his time. Now that he currenty studies, apart from when he has exams coming up or assignments, we could talk for hours and most often by voice calls 

Voice calls? What about video calls?- Video calls also, yes… certainly! Video calls is really effective especially when we haven’t seen each other for a while or we’re missing each other like crazy. When we video call it gives us a feeling as if we are physically together in the same room. Personally, it relieves me from distance depression and helps me to sleep well at night. All and all it depends on the time, place and mood for either one. 

What happens when we don't know what to talk about?- This is what happens... we become silent or talk about the weirdest of things that make no sense whatsoever and have a good laugh! Haha... it's awkward I know! I'll explain a bit more about what I mean about being silent. When we don't know what topic to hit next we just live in the moment of listening or seeing what either of us is doing on the other end until another topic eventually spurs up. In a sense, it somewhat makes us feel as if we are in the same room together just by seeing/hearing the environment on the other side.

My Conclusion

Long Distance Relationships on a whole is never and will never be easy as it seems or as portrayed on the media. It comes with tears, sadness, happiness and most of all love in a diiferent way. In order to keep relationships like these alive communication is a must! If you are one that has problems communicating, my best advice to you is try to make a schedule if it is the fact that both of you have busy lives, whether with school or work. Also try to understand each other's differences. Not every couple will be lucky to talk 24 hours a day, every day of the week. Be patient and understanding that even while on a distance you both have to learn how to bloom as own individuals until that day comes when you both will be together permanently. The journey might be hard but it doesn't have to be forever. 

If you have questions always feel free to shoot me a message. 

Until next time friends! 

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Sunday, 10 June 2018

15 Ways To Know That A Girl Likes You

June 10, 2018 2 Comments
 Hello Hello to my fellow readers! Yes I know, it's been a while! Damn, it  actually feels forever now when I am writing this post! 

  I have however updated on my Instagram snap story about 2 weeks ago that I would have done a post in June. I took a break in May mainly due to technical issues that I was having with my blog also, I was learning more about the blogging world while I waited to get these issues resolved. You guys have been patient and I appreciate that sooo much! *kisses*

 Now lets get into business shall we? Yep! 

 On my last post I wrote about 15 Ways To Know That A Guy Likes You and I promised my fellow male readers that I would also do 15 Ways to know that a girl is into them. Aaand, I kept my promise! *CHEERS* 
 The thing is, when I actually gave this topic a thought I realised that "the ways" didn't differ much between men and women, they related quite more than I had expected. Now, gentle men, here are your 15 ways!






  1. She blink her eyes... alot!- This you would notice if you are still in the flirting stage. Females are most likely to do this as a sign that she like what she sees and is really digging you.
  2. She twirls/plays with her hair.- A typical romantic flirty movie gesture but let me tell you that we as female actually do this in real life! Haha girls can be weird ;)
  3. She tries to do her best with her dressing and attire when you both plan a meet/date.
  4. She smiles and shows her pearly whites to light up the room and your heart.
  5. Shy! She suddenly becomes that shy girl when she's in your company. Nothing is wrong with that, as long as you make her feel more comfortable as time goes she will loosen up eventually.
  6. She texts you first! It is more common that girls wait for the guy to text them first but not realizing that the guys also can appreciate the girl putting forward the same gesture.
  7. She remains fully attentive and find interest in the topics which you speak on. 
  8. She ask you a ton of questions! Man, if she's inquisitive she's interested!
  9. If she is always interested to know how your day went, if you have eaten etc, then she could be a win win!
  10. She wants to meet your friends and family. That's alright as it shows a big sign of interest in you and the people who are a part of your life.  I know males can be a bit keen on the timing of which he let a girl meet his friends and relatives especially.
  11. She encourages you to meet her friends and family also.
  12. The random calls are also an eye opener. 😉
  13. She plans/asks about the next date or next time seeing you!
  14. She blushes when you compliment her.
  15. A girl who is interested in a guy tries to remember all the little details you tell her, whether it's important and not. If she remembers all the little things she definitely likes you.
 So guys I hope my pointers actually gave you some pespective. If  it did, leave a comment and if it didn't, still leave a comment. Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you on my next post!

Bye!🎔


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Thursday, 26 April 2018

15 Ways To Know That A Guy Likes You

April 26, 2018 1 Comments


 That feeling you get when something new is about to start. Or that feeling you get when you wish for something new to start. That feeling, just that feeling, when you have such a strong and deep crush on a guy. You try to do all the little things to give him the correct signal that you like him but it tends to be rather difficult with some to correctly re-read them.  

 We raise the questions to ourselves like 'Does he really like me?' 'Am I way ahead of myself?' 'Am I pushing myself in too much?' 

 Generally, I think it's a bit harder for us girls to read guys if they genuinely like us, unless that guy is very open with his emotions. Men try to maintain that image of being the Rock of Gibraltar. They like to leave us girls curious (maybe it's one of their tactic to win our hearts over). Bloody men....🙄

 Just incase you're one of those girls who are trying to figure out if your crush likes you just as much as you like him, I will list a few trait of what guys do when they like or naturally cares for a girl. Here goes....


1. He gives you his full attention when you have a conversation.

2. He maintains firm eye contact with you. 

3. He smiles when he sees you or while being in your company.

4. If you make him laugh a lot that's a bonus! 

5. His gesture towards you; e.g he holds your hand at the right moments.

6. He doesn't wait for you to text him first.

7. He randomly calls you just to hear how your day is going.

8. He plans meet-ups or dates.

9. When out together, he ensures you get home safely if he's unable to take you himself. 

10. He hugs/kisses you goodbye or hello.

11. He blushes when you compliment him. 

12. He tries to give you a happy date.

13. He makes it his duty to keep you safe.

14. Not only does he invite you out, he invites you over to his place.

15. He tries his best to remember things about you; e.g your middle name, birthday etc. 


 Each and every guy is unique hence I wouldn't be able to list all the traits of when one actually likes you. I however believe I have listed some of the main pointers. There are other things or gestures that you can or will be able to pick up on your own from your crush. As long as he's putting in the effort and tries to make it clear it would be weird you miss the signs. 

 But hey guys, I won't leave you out! Probably on my next post I will list pointers for you also to help you know if your girl crush likes you back just as much as you like her. 😎

 But until then, have a great day and don't forget to leave comments and/or share this post! 

              Good bye! ♥️




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Monday, 9 April 2018

Pay Less Attention To Your Phone And More To Your Relationship.

April 09, 2018 1 Comments

(Put Down Your Phone For A Second | I Have Something To Say)


Day after day we realize how attached we are to a small but handy electronic device we call a mobile phone. But let's admit it, it can be very addictive. Have we ever thought that probably it is too addicting? 

Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, to name a few, gets the most of our time. As soon as a notification beeps in it's almost like we could go through any life threatening situation just to check what the notification is about or who/what source it came from.


Question of today's blog:  How many of us actually listen to when our partner or anyone around us beeps for our attention while we are busy on our phone?


 If you are mature enough to admit to yourself that you're actually addicted or close to being addicted, then that's good. Most of all, you're not alone. I myself also struggle with being on my phone a tad bit too much. Like why is the World Wide Web and social media constantly seemingly so interesting?🤦🏾‍♀ 
 We, however, at some point have to discipline ourselves to the amount of media we indulge in daily.

 Have you ever thought that your phone could be a reason as to why your relationship with your partner or friends/family remains so off? When  you are the one who is constantly focused on your screen you have no time to realize this unless someone mentions it to you. There's a time and place for everything, that applies to our phones as well. 
 The person you're in a relationship with deserves just as much or even more attention that your phone receives. Think about how disrespectful it would be if you're speaking to someone on an important topic and that person is busy fingering his phone. Wouldn't you feel like you could just talk to a wall instead? Yes? Then it's the same feeling that another person could get if you treat them in like manner. 


 It's also quite interesting when a person didn't even see a breakup coming due to how inattentive one is to the real world 😂 
You spend all your time on Instagram to lurk on other people's relationship, to see who dumped who and not seeing that your own relationship is falling into a pit! 

Put down your phone when someone has something to say. Don't miss the important details. Don't make yourself look stupid when he/she asks you a question about what was said earlier and you can't relate or remember because at that time you were “busy” posting a Facebook status. 

 Don't be the one (probably the only one) who is texting and smiling at joke on your phone screen when sitting at the dinner table with friends/family while everyone is laughing at the jokes being thrown at dinner. 
 Remember every minute matters with the people who care about you. Show some respect in order to receive respect. Listen to those around you when they try to speak about something that really matters. 

 On ending, my boyfriend can say to me at times when he thinks I'm giving my phone too much attention "You know the owner of Apple only allowed his kids to use their phones only 4 hours a day?" And still I say to him I'm not one of his kids 😂





Anyhow, I hope you got the real meaning behind this post and I hope to see you again on my next. 

     Hej då! 👋🏾

Related article: Working Too Much Can Affect Your Relationship 


Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Interracial Relationship: What It's Like In Public (Personal Experience)

March 27, 2018 0 Comments
As my followers and people who know me might already know I am in an interracial relationship. If you are a new reader this is news for you and hey, welcome to my blog! 👋🏾

I try not to be too personal about my relationship in my blog posts hence why I try to be more general about my topics. In respect of my relationship itself and my boyfriend's views on the internet/social media, I try to not keep our life as a couple too much on the surface. However, today I feel like it should be okay to give you an insight of what it is like out in the public for us as an interracial couple. (Hopefully, this is not a prob for him 😄😉

Added fact: not only are we in an interracial relationship, our relationship is also long distance; for a little while that is. 

So for my new readers, I am Jamaican and my name is Kemalto. My boyfriend is Swedish/Norwegian and his name is Alex, for short.


Now let's get in to the topic. I start with my home country, Jamaica, as that's where I first noticed the type of attention we receive.

1. People tend to be VERY inquisitive. This is expected because it's not every day people may see an interracial couple around town.

2. In a social environment, people are always curious about where Alex is from. When he tells them Sweden, 70% of them can never pinpoint where Sweden actually is and feels he is referring to Switzerland 😂

3. When passing Craft Markets, staying at a hotel people or being anywhere where tourists normally are, persons most often assume we are Americans because apparently “once you’re a foreigner you’re American" 🤦🏾‍♀️ I believe people are quick to think that because of the way we speak our English.

4. I swear one day a driver is going to collide into something because of turning his/her head to look at us, while driving! It’s the creepiest thing to experience when people looks at you so still and turn their heads with your motion of walking by. Gah! 

5. BEAUTIFUL BABIES! A comment we definitely get a lot. Mind you be beautiful babies doesn't not only come in an interracial relationship 😒 But thank you for your view! 👶🏼

6. When Is The Wedding? Guys we are not running a show. Our relationship is real and we think developing a stable relationship takes time. When it's time WE will know.

7. Because I worked at a hotel and sometimes I would wear my work uniform in the town while walking with him, people would assume I met him at the hotel; I did not. People are also quick to assume we met online. No, we did not ♥️

8. Some local men show so much fury when they see that " a white man" stole one of their Jamaican girls. Oh lord I could just preach and rant on this! But I always say, when you start to appreciate the Jamaican women and treat them right then you'll find that you still have a lot left on the island for yourself (and this only goes for some men) 

9. Some girls/ women don't care if they see him walking with me. They eye him out as if I were invisible. But I guess that's okay.. to a point. I know my man's attractive 🤷🏾‍♀️🤤


My experience in Sweden:

Sweden is a lovely country as much as Jamaica is. People there are reserved and some mind their own business. The experiences that I have in Jamaica aren't as prominent and obvious in Sweden. My main experience in Sweden being in an interracial relationship is that people just tend to stare and have very inquisitive eyes. Sometimes it can get so uncomfortable (especially on the train) for me because I don't know what the stares mean. I can question myself like, is it me or is it because they see me with a Swede? Friends of Alex seems to find it rather "exotic" so I assume that's a good thing. 😌🤔
Sweden is a diverse country, people from all ethnicities and countries so I guess it's more expected for them to see interracial couples from time to time. 

All and all I love and enjoy my relationship. My best one yet.
I wouldn't change my relationship for anything or for anyone. I live and embrace it as it is. ♥️

If you are in an interracial relationship, can you relate in any way? Leave a comment and let me know. Share if you have found my post as relatable. 

Want to know how we handle our Long Distance Relationship? Check out these 7 ways! 

🦋 See you on my next post! 🦋


Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Does Desperation Drive You Into A Fast Relationship? Here's What You Need To Know.

March 21, 2018 1 Comments



Probably every human, at some point or another in their lives, has experienced being on what can only be described as an emotional roller coaster. Some days the skies are blue and on other days they just appear gray; filled with heavy, low hanging clouds. We may feel physically and emotionally exhausted at times, still on other days we are swept off our feet because of some overwhelming joy.

But besides the two commonly talked about extremes - happiness and sadness - there is another state of being that carries a heavy emotional weight. Desperation. More likely than not, you’ve experienced it but if you’re the anomaly reading this post, you might have at the very least heard of it. 

Desperation likes to show his face when things seem to be going down hill for you. And suddenly you feel like Steve Urkel, your non-physical faculties are screaming, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”. Desperation is a monster that preys on your weaknesses and suddenly you feel like you need someone else to survive. You become reliant on someone or something outside of yourself to feel some kind of emotional balance, it’s as if you’re feeding on their energies. 

 Have you ever been in a time of your life where you feel so lonely and desperate, the only thing you feel is best for you is to find someone who can show you love, to be there for you? Yes? Then let me tell you, this is not always a bad thing. It however becomes a bad thing if you go about it the wrong way. 

Here's a few pointers you may need to know: 

•Before diving into a quick relationship, it's mandatory that you try to know the person beyond that which meets the eye. Even though you might not be the most objective person at this point, you must still try to discern the inner person of their heart or you might find that you have jumped out of the frying pot and into the fire.


•You will also find it helpful to do some research and background checks about this person. That is, their life in their “natural environment”, their family and friends, the way this person grew up and some basic character traits. Even though you can’t judge someone entirely based on how their family is, it’s a good place to decipher the type of person you may expect them to become towards you in the future. 


•Even though you may be going through a period of depression, it may become worse if you find fast comfort into a person you only knew a month ago. This person might not meet your expectations and suddenly you find yourself in an even more stressful situation.


•Rushing into a relationship may end up working out in your favour. However, the reverse is also true whereby the person might be moved to take advantage of you when he or she recognizes your weakness and is aware that you're only with them because of your desperation. 


•REGRET! Regret is never a pleasant thing to carry around in your life. A fast relationship can result in future regrets if that person turns out to be the opposite of what they made you believe they were initially. That is why it's best to get to know the person thoroughly before diving into the relationship pool with them. 


•Being depressed doesn't mean you have to have someone to show you sympathy in order for you to heal. Your own company can and may be sufficient. Find new hobbies, make new friends, join clubs. There are ways in which you can overcome depression apart from wrongly opening up yourself to a complete stranger. 


•Talk about your struggles with someone you trust and have known for a very long time. Even though I’m discussing this in the context of relationships, it is not a problem that is exclusive to people who are desirous of being in a relationship. Sometimes it might be about a friendship that you cherished becoming sour or maybe other personal problems.

 Always try to be alert and choose your friends wisely as there can be "friends" who will take advantage of you and abuse the fact that you are besides yourself. 

 Don't ever feel alone in your time of doubt and sadness. Depression is common among us as people and it is possible to get out of it. It might not be easy but remember that the words difficult and impossible aren’t synonymous. Stay positive and stay aware!

Sunday, 18 March 2018

KNOW YOUR WORTH! (How Do You Know Your Worth?)

March 18, 2018 1 Comments

Upon talking with a friend recently, I could not help but make this topic my next blog post. 

It's so surreal that there are actually women out there who are lost, unsure of what their worth really is. The fact that she is a friend and I value my friends, I felt that it was only respectful and the right thing to do to listen, evaluate, be non-judgmental and give her my best honest advice.

How Do you Know Your Worth



While she voiced her story to me, I said to her "Know your worth." Lost and saddened she was, she hit me back with the question "How do I know my worth?" 
I smiled after receiving her question. A smile of sympathy, a smile of empathy. I told her to ask herself; How do I see myself as a person? and How do I expect a man or someone else to see me as that said person? 

The thing is, she is not the only one who is struggling with knowing her worth. Both men and women is very likely to come across this phase in life where they are left to question their own values. However, I believe this is more common among us women. 

"We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves."

Struggling to find your worth can be based on a few things like:

•Past experiences you've had with someone you dated or possible a friend/family member.
•Your outlook on yourself as a person •CONFIDENCE. 

If you can relate to any of those pointers (especially your confidence level) then it's no surprise you are having difficulties with knowing and accepting your worth. Look at yourself in the mirror, take a moment to pause, breathe calmly and think.  
“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is irrelevant.”

Try to find all the qualities in yourself, accept them and embrace them. Learn to love yourself. Self love is sufficient. If you don't love yourself, no one else will. If you don't accept yourself for who you are inside and out, no one else will. 

So, do you know your worth?

In a nutshell, my advice to you is; if you are struggling with this it’s best to start by doing some self evaluation. Find all the good things in you; quality over quantity. Love yourself. Keep your chin up. Smile. 

And if you are in a relationship, once you embrace all these pointers, your worth will become so clear to your partner. He/she will respect you and know where you stand as a person. 

-Dedicated to a friend ❤️