Tuesday 27 March 2018

Interracial Relationship: What It's Like In Public (Personal Experience)

March 27, 2018 0 Comments
As my followers and people who know me might already know I am in an interracial relationship. If you are a new reader this is news for you and hey, welcome to my blog! 👋🏾

I try not to be too personal about my relationship in my blog posts hence why I try to be more general about my topics. In respect of my relationship itself and my boyfriend's views on the internet/social media, I try to not keep our life as a couple too much on the surface. However, today I feel like it should be okay to give you an insight of what it is like out in the public for us as an interracial couple. (Hopefully, this is not a prob for him 😄😉) 

Added fact: not only are we in an interracial relationship, our relationship is also long distance; for a little while that is. 

So for my new readers, I am Jamaican and my name is Kemalto. My boyfriend is Swedish/Norwegian and his name is Alex, for short.


Now let's get in to the topic. I start with my home country, Jamaica, as that's where I first noticed the type of attention we receive.

1. People tend to be VERY inquisitive. This is expected because it's not every day people may see an interracial couple around town.

2. In a social environment, people are always curious about where Alex is from. When he tells them Sweden, 70% of them can never pinpoint where Sweden actually is and feels he is referring to Switzerland 😂

3. When passing Craft Markets, staying at a hotel people or being anywhere where tourists normally are, persons most often assume we are Americans because apparently “once you’re a foreigner you’re American" 🤦🏾‍♀️ I believe people are quick to think that because of the way we speak our English.

4. I swear one day a driver is going to collide into something because of turning his/her head to look at us, while driving! It’s the creepiest thing to experience when people looks at you so still and turn their heads with your motion of walking by. Gah! 

5. BEAUTIFUL BABIES! A comment we definitely get a lot. Mind you be beautiful babies doesn't not only come in an interracial relationship 😒 But thank you for your view! 👶🏼

6. When Is The Wedding? Guys we are not running a show. Our relationship is real and we think developing a stable relationship takes time. When it's time WE will know.

7. Because I worked at a hotel and sometimes I would wear my work uniform in the town while walking with him, people would assume I met him at the hotel; I did not. People are also quick to assume we met online. No, we did not ♥️

8. Some local men show so much fury when they see that " a white man" stole one of their Jamaican girls. Oh lord I could just preach and rant on this! But I always say, when you start to appreciate the Jamaican women and treat them right then you'll find that you still have a lot left on the island for yourself (and this only goes for some men) 

9. Some girls/ women don't care if they see him walking with me. They eye him out as if I were invisible. But I guess that's okay.. to a point. I know my man's attractive 🤷🏾‍♀️🤤


My experience in Sweden:

Sweden is a lovely country as much as Jamaica is. People there are reserved and some mind their own business. The experiences that I have in Jamaica aren't as prominent and obvious in Sweden. My main experience in Sweden being in an interracial relationship is that people just tend to stare and have very inquisitive eyes. Sometimes it can get so uncomfortable (especially on the train) for me because I don't know what the stares mean. I can question myself like, is it me or is it because they see me with a Swede? Friends of Alex seems to find it rather "exotic" so I assume that's a good thing. 😌🤔
Sweden is a diverse country, people from all ethnicities and countries so I guess it's more expected for them to see interracial couples from time to time. 

All and all I love and enjoy my relationship. My best one yet.
I wouldn't change my relationship for anything or for anyone. I live and embrace it as it is. ♥️

If you are in an interracial relationship, can you relate in any way? Leave a comment and let me know. Share if you have found my post as relatable. 

Want to know how we handle our Long Distance Relationship? Check out these 7 ways! 

🦋 See you on my next post! 🦋
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Wednesday 21 March 2018

Does Desperation Drive You Into A Fast Relationship? Here's What You Need To Know.

March 21, 2018 1 Comments



Probably every human, at some point or another in their lives, has experienced being on what can only be described as an emotional roller coaster. Some days the skies are blue and on other days they just appear gray; filled with heavy, low hanging clouds. We may feel physically and emotionally exhausted at times, still on other days we are swept off our feet because of some overwhelming joy.

But besides the two commonly talked about extremes - happiness and sadness - there is another state of being that carries a heavy emotional weight. Desperation. More likely than not, you’ve experienced it but if you’re the anomaly reading this post, you might have at the very least heard of it. 

Desperation likes to show his face when things seem to be going down hill for you. And suddenly you feel like Steve Urkel, your non-physical faculties are screaming, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”. Desperation is a monster that preys on your weaknesses and suddenly you feel like you need someone else to survive. You become reliant on someone or something outside of yourself to feel some kind of emotional balance, it’s as if you’re feeding on their energies. 

 Have you ever been in a time of your life where you feel so lonely and desperate, the only thing you feel is best for you is to find someone who can show you love, to be there for you? Yes? Then let me tell you, this is not always a bad thing. It however becomes a bad thing if you go about it the wrong way. 

Here's a few pointers you may need to know: 

•Before diving into a quick relationship, it's mandatory that you try to know the person beyond that which meets the eye. Even though you might not be the most objective person at this point, you must still try to discern the inner person of their heart or you might find that you have jumped out of the frying pot and into the fire.


•You will also find it helpful to do some research and background checks about this person. That is, their life in their “natural environment”, their family and friends, the way this person grew up and some basic character traits. Even though you can’t judge someone entirely based on how their family is, it’s a good place to decipher the type of person you may expect them to become towards you in the future. 


•Even though you may be going through a period of depression, it may become worse if you find fast comfort into a person you only knew a month ago. This person might not meet your expectations and suddenly you find yourself in an even more stressful situation.


•Rushing into a relationship may end up working out in your favour. However, the reverse is also true whereby the person might be moved to take advantage of you when he or she recognizes your weakness and is aware that you're only with them because of your desperation. 


•REGRET! Regret is never a pleasant thing to carry around in your life. A fast relationship can result in future regrets if that person turns out to be the opposite of what they made you believe they were initially. That is why it's best to get to know the person thoroughly before diving into the relationship pool with them. 


•Being depressed doesn't mean you have to have someone to show you sympathy in order for you to heal. Your own company can and may be sufficient. Find new hobbies, make new friends, join clubs. There are ways in which you can overcome depression apart from wrongly opening up yourself to a complete stranger. 


•Talk about your struggles with someone you trust and have known for a very long time. Even though I’m discussing this in the context of relationships, it is not a problem that is exclusive to people who are desirous of being in a relationship. Sometimes it might be about a friendship that you cherished becoming sour or maybe other personal problems.

 Always try to be alert and choose your friends wisely as there can be "friends" who will take advantage of you and abuse the fact that you are besides yourself. 

 Don't ever feel alone in your time of doubt and sadness. Depression is common among us as people and it is possible to get out of it. It might not be easy but remember that the words difficult and impossible aren’t synonymous. Stay positive and stay aware!
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# Desperation # For men
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Sunday 18 March 2018

KNOW YOUR WORTH! (How Do You Know Your Worth?)

March 18, 2018 1 Comments

Upon talking with a friend recently, I could not help but make this topic my next blog post. 

It's so surreal that there are actually women out there who are lost, unsure of what their worth really is. The fact that she is a friend and I value my friends, I felt that it was only respectful and the right thing to do to listen, evaluate, be non-judgmental and give her my best honest advice.

How Do you Know Your Worth



While she voiced her story to me, I said to her "Know your worth." Lost and saddened she was, she hit me back with the question "How do I know my worth?" 
I smiled after receiving her question. A smile of sympathy, a smile of empathy. I told her to ask herself; How do I see myself as a person? and How do I expect a man or someone else to see me as that said person? 

The thing is, she is not the only one who is struggling with knowing her worth. Both men and women is very likely to come across this phase in life where they are left to question their own values. However, I believe this is more common among us women. 

"We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves."

Struggling to find your worth can be based on a few things like:

•Past experiences you've had with someone you dated or possible a friend/family member.
•Your outlook on yourself as a person •CONFIDENCE. 

If you can relate to any of those pointers (especially your confidence level) then it's no surprise you are having difficulties with knowing and accepting your worth. Look at yourself in the mirror, take a moment to pause, breathe calmly and think.  
“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is irrelevant.”

Try to find all the qualities in yourself, accept them and embrace them. Learn to love yourself. Self love is sufficient. If you don't love yourself, no one else will. If you don't accept yourself for who you are inside and out, no one else will. 

So, do you know your worth?

In a nutshell, my advice to you is; if you are struggling with this it’s best to start by doing some self evaluation. Find all the good things in you; quality over quantity. Love yourself. Keep your chin up. Smile. 

And if you are in a relationship, once you embrace all these pointers, your worth will become so clear to your partner. He/she will respect you and know where you stand as a person. 

-Dedicated to a friend ❤️
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Monday 5 March 2018

Should Your Relationship Be Kept Private And Off Social Media? | VIEWS

March 05, 2018 0 Comments

relationships and social media


Almost everyone shares a different view of privacy in relationships. Still the question looms over people worldwide; should a relationship be kept private or be publicized? How bad can either extreme be?


Speaking from personal experience it is safe to say that a more private relationship has less outside influence and unsolicited opinions. In other words, it is drama and “I heard that…” free! But to what extent is  privacy good? Would you say you should avoid  being seen with your partner publicly or just not be seen palavering everywhere on social media? Well quite frankly, it’s all up to you.


Let’s be real, as long as it’s a genuine relationship and you are one who is active on social media, from time to time you may get that urge to ”show off” a little. Posting about your relationship is not always a bad thing, it varies from relationship to relationship and depends greatly on how you do it.


But here comes the disclaimer!! You  have no idea how many people are out there lurking and feeding off your life and injecting all kinds of negative energies into your relationship. Some people may be envious of you or just hate the nature of the relationship and the happiness you experience because of and with each other. Granted, there are many people who are cheering you on but it would be naïve to think that your relationship only has friends and no foes. This is why caution should always be exercised.

As you may well know, my relationship isn’t 100% private, however, personal information and things that need to stay off the media are definitely kept confidential (between my partner and myself). I know many of you can see (if you are a following my Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook) that the things I post on my social media with Alex and I are sole photos with simple captions (nothing to describe the status of our relationship) and only comical videos of Alex when he attempts to sing Jamaican songs or speak the lovely creole.

So do I think personal information regarding your love life should be kept off the internet? YES
Do I think you should keep your relationship 100% private including who you are dating off the internet? THE CHOICE IS YOURS


Everyone’s relationship belongs to them and no one else. Couples are entitled to their own opinion as to the degree of publicity or privacy they chose to expose their union. Just bear in mind that there are consequences to both extremes and many ramifications when a couple decides to share every aspect of their relationship on social media;  especially if your relationship happens to have a short shelf life. Be sure that you know the person you are dating and his/her intentions before being too public about him or her.

If you need a little guide to know if your relationship is just right for you, check out 8 Ways You Know He Is The One.




SEE YOU ON MY NEXT POST!
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