Does Desperation Drive You Into A Fast Relationship? Here's What You Need To Know.

Probably every human, at some point or another in their lives, has experienced being on what can only be described as an emotional roller coaster. Some days the skies are blue and on other days they just appear gray; filled with heavy, low hanging clouds. We may feel physically and emotionally exhausted at times, still on other days we are swept off our feet because of some overwhelming joy.

But besides the two commonly talked about extremes - happiness and sadness - there is another state of being that carries a heavy emotional weight. Desperation. More likely than not, you’ve experienced it but if you’re the anomaly reading this post, you might have at the very least heard of it. 

Desperation likes to show his face when things seem to be going down hill for you. And suddenly you feel like Steve Urkel, your non-physical faculties are screaming, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”. Desperation is a monster that preys on your weaknesses and suddenly you feel like you need someone else to survive. You become reliant on someone or something outside of yourself to feel some kind of emotional balance, it’s as if you’re feeding on their energies. 

 Have you ever been in a time of your life where you feel so lonely and desperate, the only thing you feel is best for you is to find someone who can show you love, to be there for you? Yes? Then let me tell you, this is not always a bad thing. It however becomes a bad thing if you go about it the wrong way. 

Here's a few pointers you may need to know: 

•Before diving into a quick relationship, it's mandatory that you try to know the person beyond that which meets the eye. Even though you might not be the most objective person at this point, you must still try to discern the inner person of their heart or you might find that you have jumped out of the frying pot and into the fire.

•You will also find it helpful to do some research and background checks about this person. That is, their life in their “natural environment”, their family and friends, the way this person grew up and some basic character traits. Even though you can’t judge someone entirely based on how their family is, it’s a good place to decipher the type of person you may expect them to become towards you in the future. 

•Even though you may be going through a period of depression, it may become worse if you find fast comfort into a person you only knew a month ago. This person might not meet your expectations and suddenly you find yourself in an even more stressful situation.

•Rushing into a relationship may end up working out in your favour. However, the reverse is also true whereby the person might be moved to take advantage of you when he or she recognizes your weakness and is aware that you're only with them because of your desperation. 

•REGRET! Regret is never a pleasant thing to carry around in your life. A fast relationship can result in future regrets if that person turns out to be the opposite of what they made you believe they were initially. That is why it's best to get to know the person thoroughly before diving into the relationship pool with them. 

•Being depressed doesn't mean you have to have someone to show you sympathy in order for you to heal. Your own company can and may be sufficient. Find new hobbies, make new friends, join clubs. There are ways in which you can overcome depression apart from wrongly opening up yourself to a complete stranger. 

•Talk about your struggles with someone you trust and have known for a very long time. Even though I’m discussing this in the context of relationships, it is not a problem that is exclusive to people who are desirous of being in a relationship. Sometimes it might be about a friendship that you cherished becoming sour or maybe other personal problems.

 Always try to be alert and choose your friends wisely as there can be "friends" who will take advantage of you and abuse the fact that you are besides yourself. 

 Don't ever feel alone in your time of doubt and sadness. Depression is common among us as people and it is possible to get out of it. It might not be easy but remember that the words difficult and impossible aren’t synonymous. Stay positive and stay aware!