If you ask someone at random to list the things they’d love to do around their partner you’d probably hear a few “uhmmm”s and “wellll..”s before they could even begin to answer. Ask those same people about some things they feel they’d never want to do and you’ll find a million answers flying out of nowhere. It’s weird how we can think about all the awkward things we wouldn’t do in a relationship. But the more you think about these ”awkward” things the more you realize that at some point or another they are bound to happen. Thankfully for me, most of these things were a breeze! I hardly ever felt any stiffness when I wanted to just be myself around my partner.

But “awkward things”, what am I even talking about?

• Passing Gas

I think this might head the list of things people might be apprehensive about in a relationship, especially if it is new. But let me tell you, once you have settled in your partner’s company you probably won’t even notice the first time you farted. Passing gas, is only natural. Don’t see it as an embarrassment, you’re body is just doing it’s job. In fact, your partner might become concerned about your health if you were never able to relieve yourself in this way.

• Taking A Pee… Outside!

I don’t think it will be that hard taking a pee in the bathroom infront of your boyfriend and I’ll tell you why I said boyfriend instead of “partner”. As it regards to peeing outside of a bathroom, it has always been natural for a guy to just stand and pee anywhere outside. Imagine you’re on a night out with your boyfriend and while strolling with him outside there comes a strong urge too pee and the options are:
       a) stoop next to a shrub and empty your bladder or
       b) wait until it becomes unbearable and wet yourself.
I don’t think too many of you would choose option b. Peeing outside can be really embarrassing for some girls. It’s not always easy to do especially if you’re just getting to know him. There are ways of handling this if you aren’t yet comfortable. He doesn’t necessarily have to be standing over you while you pee. He can be a couple metres away while you handle your female business. When you do reach that point of comfort in your relationship you could possibly be taking pees outside… together!

• Number 2

Ayiyyiy! Why is it that most times it’s us  women who can have insecurites about doing the natural stuff when our boyfriend/husband is around? Men, on the other hand, can easily do the number 2  even on the first date but for us women, our partner could possibly never even know of us having the urge to poop, even more so seeing us go! Women generally like to give off a classy aura especially when it comes on to being around their partner. I  didn’t even expect myself to do a number 2 even infront of Alex but when two people are in the same household these things are only natural and expected. We try to make it funny sometimes, especially when one person is going at it for two long. We either ask if the other person needs help or jokingly bring a pair of scissors just in case they ran into any difficulty.

• Snoring

If you’re a snorer it’s okay! I didn’t even know I was able to snore until Alex recorded me one day when we were in Jamaica. It was kind of an embarrassing but funny experience. But remember we have no control over these things while we are asleep. If you are afraid of snoring and feel like it may  be a problem for a long term relationship you can always do your research on how to fix it or possibly seek medical advice. As for those who may only be occasional snorers, my advice is to embrace it and laugh about it.

• Burping

This is also a very touchy subject. You  may want to be a little respectful towards your partner and exercise some restraint depending on the setting. For example, at a restaurant; you wouldn’t want to be burping too loudly in his company as this is not proper etiquette.  If it’s an easy going day at home there is no need to feel afraid to pass a little trapped air from the stomach. Just always remember to at least say excuse me or show a little grace no matter the setting.

• Morning Breath

To finish off strong, one awkward thing is – drumroll please – morning breath! Your own morning breath can even attempt to take you out like a sniper. So imagine waking up next to your partner and being paralyzed by the fear of killing him or her as soon as they wake. Good oral hygiene is sufficient. As long as you take care of your mouth, morning breath won’t be too aggressive. Morning breath will still exist even when you have excellent oral hygiene but the degree of the smell will be less. There is no sure way of getting rid of morning breath completely so why not try to embrace this as well? In the long run neither you nor your partner will pay attention to this and you’ll even be having stinky face to face conversations in the mornings!

For a happy relationship to happen we need to include all the cool, uncool, gross and natural things that exist. This includes (but is not limited to) all these things I’ve mentioned. Keep an open mind and remember no human being is perfect!

As for who knows me personally, you are probably aware of the fact that I am in a long distance relationship. So instead of speaking on general terms on this topic, I will speak on a personal term instead.

1. COMMUNICATION

2. HONESTY

3. TRUST

4. SCHEDULING

5. BEING EACH OTHERS KEEPER

6. PHONE CALLS/VIDEO CALLS

7. BEST FRIENDS

A Conclusion For You

How many times have you both made plans but it had to be cancelled because you had to work? You might want to do this less if you don't wish for your relationship itself to be cancelled.

Restrain from bringing stress from work into the home. This is how arguments can flare up. You coming home grumpy from work because of your boss nagging you about a task deadline and your partner being stressed about you hardly being home. It happens and why wouldn't it? Try to free one's mind and not mix work with home. Moreover, don't mix work with your life.

If you would like to get in contact with me, you may email me at kemaltonesbeth@icloud.com. You can also follow or Direct Message me on my Instagram @golden.melannin.

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This document was last updated on February 5, 2018

"When you finally let go of the past something better comes along."

Let's just say 2018 equals new beginnings. New self, new goals, a new partner maybe? Therefore, new expectations. Many of us have at least had shitty experiences with a person we dated in the past. In this case, I will hint on reasons why the past is the past and how to not let it block you from the new light in your new or fairly new relationship.

___1._You Need To Move On!_____

___2.__Keep An Open Mind!______

Everyone is not the same hence their will be new behaviours and different mind sets in a new relationship. Try to build that space within ones self to accept changes. Most importantly, remember that you also will be different from who your partner had dated before, so even him/her will have to accept you as a new person. Be selfless, be considerate.

_3._It Is Possible To Trust Again._

Your past relationship might have wrecked you to the bone. You had no trust left. Well, this is an opportunity to start over. A new book with new pages. Which means, try to start you relationship on the right page; page one, be honest and genuine. Give your partner a reason to trust you and hopefully you will get that in return. Go through a few more pages of the book to gain some certainty of the story that you both will be making. After more time spent together and talking with each other, more firm ground for trust will be built. 

_4.Don't Talk About The Past Too Much!

Gah! That moment when you re on a date with a potential partner and most of the date time was spent talking about their EX! Your ex is called an ex for reason. It is no danger talking about your ex from time to time, but just think before speaking. Talk about what is relevant and not something that can put your potential partner down. There will be goods in a past relationship but never talk about it too much or exaggerate. Perhaps talking about the bad things from time to time can let your partner have an idea of your dislikes and will try to implement ways in which he/she can make the new relationship work better for you, for both of you. Let your partner know the ways in which your relationship together is better than the past one. That will give a little life to your relationship and reassurance.

_5. The Past Was Just A Lesson.

Remember, everyone's experience is how one gains knowledge. Let your past be a lesson. Therefore, you will eventually know the wrongs to not carry into your new relationship and the goods to bring in. 

As from the title, I believe quite a few of us from time to time may ask ourselves this question or furthermore probably discuss it with a friend or best friend. But let's be logical, what on this earth is rather perfect? Maybe a slice of pizza with a lot of cheese with pepperoni evenly distributed? Or a sunny none humid day at the beach, clear blue skies, a cute bikini with well shaved legs, enjoying every moment of the wind blowing and the waves crashing? Maybe that itself is rather perfect. But, let's do a reality check for a minute here...

Fairytales

I first mention this because I believe this might be the number one reason why young girls can most often fantasize "the perfect relationship." Her fairy godmother waves her wand, puts her in a pretty shiny dress and glass slippers so she can meet her Prince Charming, get married and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER! How romantic! A lot of us were fed on these fairytale cartoons and movies as kids while being hidden away from the real world, the truth. But let's be honest, everybody wants a happily ever after and I believe that when it does happen its the most magical thing on earth. I personally value marriage and with this I believe happily ever after does exists. Marriages that has been going a milestone, one that honestly include "death doing two souls apart," a marriage that includes forgiveness and genuine love. But does it mean a nonbinding relationship cannot have a happily ever after? No. Lets just use an old couple for example who has been in a relationship for over 30 years but havent been married. Doesnt it mean they have found something within each other why they are together for so long but havent tied the knots? From my guess I would say that is one you can call a happily ever after relationship. It doesn't include the diamonds, shiny vain stuff rather, it includes pure love and comfort within each other. A comfortable soul is a happy soul.

The Media

The Bachelorette, The Bachelor and trendy sayings like "Relationship Goals" just to name a few, are a part of the top influences for a perfect relationship. As a person who uses social media very often, I can come across these from time to time. Pictures, videos or Memes probably of a man petting his girlfriend's head with a kiss on the forehead and you then see in the caption "relationship goals" Or another example, a man taking his girlfriend out for a special date probably because she was promoted at her work and he wanted to give her a treat. But by seeing the niceness of his gesture it is hashtagged as a relationship goal.
Where I am going with this?
Another couple's relationship may never be your reality. Only you as a person can influence the perfection of your relationship. It's like you could want your partner to take you out on a date to eat the finest steak just because you saw how happy another couple was doing the same while in reality your partner is vegan. Why not try to find ways in which you and your partner can better your relationship and create your own goals instead of feeding off what the media tells you is a perfect relationship¨?

Final Thoughts

Just know, a healthy relationship or marriage includes a lot of forgiveness,  disagreements or fights. And we all can feel from time to time during a fight that it wont work out the way you had hoped. Nobody is perfect hence why a relationship will never be perfect. It is all about accepting your partner for who he/she is and finding ways to work with each other. As my boyfriend will say from time to time "lets meet halfway" or "place yourself in my shoe" while me on the other hand would say "lets just do our individual roles in this relationship, focus on how YOU can contribute to our relationship." Often times I get the relationship goals sayings in my messages. It's good to know that people adore our relationship but the fact is that our pictures and videos may look perfect, but we as a couple aren't. We just understand each other and try our best to keep each other happy. If we can do it so can you! :) But for starters, try to focus on being a good girlfriend/boyfriend not the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend!
Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time out to read my blog! My messages and comments are always open for your thoughts and maybe things you would like me to blog about next. You can also find me on my Instagram @golden.melannin. But until next time...

                                                          

So! I have been wanting to do some type of public blog or vlog for a while now and I know I know, a lot of you have been waiting!

A year ago I posted on my instagram story that I will be starting a channel doing vlogs of my Swedish boyfriend and I. I did get a lot of support and encouragement from friends and just Instagram followers who finds us interesting, big thank you!
But, sometimes I can be lazy and then do away with a plan. I ended up creating the channel and it has been standing still and empty for one year! Omg!
Throughout that year people would message me on Instagram saying "oh you two would be perfect for YouTube", "you should definitely make a youtube channel, you already have a subbie." Honestly those comments made me feel really good and I appreciate it!
Now it's 2018 and all that slacking off started in January 2017. I regained the thought of actually putting up a video on YouTube. I went as far as making a funny video to see how I would do and man, let me tell you, I was not liking it. I felt I just didn't have that vlogging personality and it all felt so stiff. My boyfriend himself barely even likes a picture being taken of him and also has a busy schedule. So again I was like WOMP! I won't bother.

                                                          

I did some thinking and came to the idea of blogging.
That way I don't have to do videos and look crazy odd and stiff. So I feel like this platform will be easier to just give you guys an out look of our relationship, how we met, our struggles etc and also giving you advice where needed, if needed.
So here! My blog.
I will TRY to stay consistent with my posting and hopefully not get lazy and give up on this. Feel free to message me on Instagram/Facebook/snapchat etc about your thoughts on this blog and what you would like my next post to be about.
Thanks so much for the encouragement once again friends and keep posted!